Complaining vs. Being Inspiring
Ever feel like complaining? Yeah, those kind of thoughts love to clatter into my brain.
"I'm so cold."
"It's too hot."
"There is so much to do."
"I'm tired of harvesting raspberries."
Is nagging and debating your strategy? Or steam-rolling people with your opinion because you feel like they just might get it if you talk about it often or long enough (I call that a "state-of-the-union-address")?
Have these methods worked for you?
They don't usually work for me! Here's a method that works wonders for me. Shhh, give it a try and see what happens.
You can apply this concept to getting your produce all preserved for winter, tackling the messy garage before it starts raining a lot, seeing shoes by the back door in a heap when you'd love to see them neatly lined up, and having civil/happy conversations with your loved ones instead of another argument.
Complaints are simply lazy desires.
Here's how it works...
Actually pause...think...what outcome do I REALLY want?
Express my desires in a way that inspires?
1. Express my pure desire. Say the final outcome I want. Be specific.
"I'm so cold."
"It's too hot."
"There is so much to do."
"I'm tired of harvesting raspberries."
Is nagging and debating your strategy? Or steam-rolling people with your opinion because you feel like they just might get it if you talk about it often or long enough (I call that a "state-of-the-union-address")?
Have these methods worked for you?
They don't usually work for me! Here's a method that works wonders for me. Shhh, give it a try and see what happens.
You can apply this concept to getting your produce all preserved for winter, tackling the messy garage before it starts raining a lot, seeing shoes by the back door in a heap when you'd love to see them neatly lined up, and having civil/happy conversations with your loved ones instead of another argument.
Complaints are simply lazy desires.
Here's how it works...
Actually pause...think...what outcome do I REALLY want?
Express my desires in a way that inspires?
1. Express my pure desire. Say the final outcome I want. Be specific.
- No manipulation.
- No "you" in the desire (this is the hardest part for me)
- Have NO expectations (then you don't get upset if it doesn't happen and you don't nag people to do it)
2. Remember that what I focus on grows.
For example, "why can't you pick up your things instead of leaving them scattered all over the table?" Instead try, "I just love seeing an absolutely clean table," without telling anyone to do anything, no expectations, just voice your pure desire and that's it!
Express your desires purely--without expectation or manipulation, how to do it, or using "you." Simply say what you would love, and then let go of the results. This helps you and others figure out how to solve the problem rather than dwelling on the problem. It creates more of a positive focus.
Use phrases like...
"I want..."
"I would love to..."
Here's some actual nitty gritty examples...
| Complaint |
Pure Desire |
| It's so cold. |
I'd love to be warm. (Your mind starts thinking about what you can do to get warm.) |
| Why do you always leave your clothes on the floor? |
I'd love to see a clean floor when I walk in the living room. |
| We should get home early because we have to work tomorrow. |
I would love to get to bed early tonight. Or, I want to be rested for work tomorrow. |
| You don't spend time with me. |
I miss you. Or, I want to do something fun with you. |
| I don't like all my clothes. |
I'd love to get a new outfit. |
| I hate harvesting all those raspberries. |
I want to listen to something while I work. I love eating all those berrries! |
| I wish farmer's market wasn't over. |
I still want to get my organically grown produce. |
| So much of our food these days has all sorts of bad chemicals in it! |
I want to eat excellent produce! I love feeling healthy & happy! |
| There's so much to do. |
I'd love to just sit and look at those amazing stars for 5 minutes. |
Have fun expressing your pure desires!
Lana